I didn't have a submission for this week's random photo challenge.
Bummer.
I did manage to eek out a poem for the challenge though.
Last week was an over-all strange week for me. It all started out normal with Bug's concert, lunch with a dear friend, a Cub Scout committee meeting. but somewhere amid all that normalcy it started to get strange.
I don't know that there was anything in particular. I really think all the strangeness is a result of my total lack of focus the last few weeks. But all of a sudden over the weekend I realized that my life has entered another whole realm and something has changed in me yet once again.
Here are a few of the more thought provoking moments from the last week:
- After a 2 hour conversation with a new "friend", I realized that I had found someone that is very much like the old adventurous me. This has led to a lot of self reflection. Do I really want to invite someone into my life that would encourage me to take risks that I might regret later on? I am at a point in my life where my risks should be more controlled & responsible. But still the old thrill-seeker in me is crying for some new adventure.
- Sis told me about the "goodbye" letter she is writing to her father. She feels she needs closure on his turning his back to her. I have such mixed feelings on this. I am proud off her for standing up for herself and what she needs emotionally, but am so sad knowing that if/when she sends it there will be no chance of reconciliation for them. I know that it is his choice to no longer be a father to her, but it is so unfair that at 16 she even has to consider shutting him out too.
- I made a plan with 2 dear friends to be part of a triathlon relay this summer. I will take on the swimming part of the relay. The race is in 4 months. I look forward to the focus this challenge will provide. I have been inactive for way too long and became even more motivated when I realized that I need to lose 10 pounds before I can even fit into my racing suit. I realized how blessed I am to have friends that encourage me in such a positive way.
- I sat here in self-pity Sunday night. I couldn't quit thinking about how despite all the great activities I take part in and friends that I love, there is something missing from my life. There is something more out there for me than working, cleaning a house that can never be totally clean, and stretching a budget farther than should be possible. I wish I could put my finger on it. For the longest time I had thought that what I was missing was a relationship, commitment, love, passion. But the more I date, the more I realize that the men that have expressed interest in me are not the type of men that I want to share my life with long term. I still have hope that who I'm looking for is out there, but maybe at the moment I'm not needing a someone. Maybe I am needing a something in my life. More adventure, more focus, more security, something new.
- Sis told me about the "goodbye" letter she is writing to her father. She feels she needs closure on his turning his back to her. I have such mixed feelings on this. I am proud off her for standing up for herself and what she needs emotionally, but am so sad knowing that if/when she sends it there will be no chance of reconciliation for them. I know that it is his choice to no longer be a father to her, but it is so unfair that at 16 she even has to consider shutting him out too.
- I made a plan with 2 dear friends to be part of a triathlon relay this summer. I will take on the swimming part of the relay. The race is in 4 months. I look forward to the focus this challenge will provide. I have been inactive for way too long and became even more motivated when I realized that I need to lose 10 pounds before I can even fit into my racing suit. I realized how blessed I am to have friends that encourage me in such a positive way.
- I sat here in self-pity Sunday night. I couldn't quit thinking about how despite all the great activities I take part in and friends that I love, there is something missing from my life. There is something more out there for me than working, cleaning a house that can never be totally clean, and stretching a budget farther than should be possible. I wish I could put my finger on it. For the longest time I had thought that what I was missing was a relationship, commitment, love, passion. But the more I date, the more I realize that the men that have expressed interest in me are not the type of men that I want to share my life with long term. I still have hope that who I'm looking for is out there, but maybe at the moment I'm not needing a someone. Maybe I am needing a something in my life. More adventure, more focus, more security, something new.
This next week's challenge subject is Explore. Maybe it will be a good subject for me as I explore myself a little deeper and try to figure out what exactly it is that I'm missing.
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